#1
The government is putting chips in our brains to control our thoughts, and they're using the weather to send us subliminal messages through frequency waves! They're also using the water supply to brainwash us into becoming obedient drones. But I have a plan to stop them. I've been constructing a giant electromagnetic pulse generator in my backyard, and when it's finished, I'll use it to fry all the chips in our brains and free us from their control. They won't know what hit them!