OP 23 September, 2022 - 12:39 PM
I've always been a dreamer I think that's evident. But my dreams are forged on lies and delusions and fantasy. We all do what we feel we want to. I felt I wanted to be a gay prophet, and be glorified in fame, and lead my people safely to heaven.
However, I can no longer dream. Not just because of my age, but because of the reality of this life/other humans. It's a depressing shit reality when you feel like you've known better. But I've always been carried away with delusions and it has never been right.
I don't know where my gay prophecy would have went. I'm 26 now. What was I looking to be? I wasn't thinking about the future. I don't want to be stuck being a gay/feeling emotions for other males.
What I don't like is how it felt so right, faith, love, hope, everything felt so right. But I've had my faith in celebrities, and I honestly don't know who I am, or what I'm doing, just know I need to get through this.
I think my worst fears are true. They're keeping me here. And there's nothing I can do about it. I think they want me to kill myself. But I'm not done in this life. I don't want to be shaped into something for them, that's really not what I am.
Please remember this; when celebrities and governments and the worlds power comes on you in a major way, hacking you, you feel excitement/delusional/faith shit, and this is what enabled me to go on like a gay.
But the reality is; these people are not to be looked at as anything special, nor have faith in them. It has shaped my mindset into something I know doesn't matter, but still bothers me when I realize it.
I hope they don't murder me and I get to speak out about everything. But that's looking unlikely.
However, I can no longer dream. Not just because of my age, but because of the reality of this life/other humans. It's a depressing shit reality when you feel like you've known better. But I've always been carried away with delusions and it has never been right.
I don't know where my gay prophecy would have went. I'm 26 now. What was I looking to be? I wasn't thinking about the future. I don't want to be stuck being a gay/feeling emotions for other males.
What I don't like is how it felt so right, faith, love, hope, everything felt so right. But I've had my faith in celebrities, and I honestly don't know who I am, or what I'm doing, just know I need to get through this.
I think my worst fears are true. They're keeping me here. And there's nothing I can do about it. I think they want me to kill myself. But I'm not done in this life. I don't want to be shaped into something for them, that's really not what I am.
Please remember this; when celebrities and governments and the worlds power comes on you in a major way, hacking you, you feel excitement/delusional/faith shit, and this is what enabled me to go on like a gay.
But the reality is; these people are not to be looked at as anything special, nor have faith in them. It has shaped my mindset into something I know doesn't matter, but still bothers me when I realize it.
I hope they don't murder me and I get to speak out about everything. But that's looking unlikely.
![[Image: RHFyvNz.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/RHFyvNz.gif)
