[Struggling] - Changing from poverty to wealth and hating yourself

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I am in a bad mood all the time, people i hang out with have noticed, they say im less patient recently, i feel, like i'm changing too, like, less concerned with other peoples opinions, less afraid.

I've always known how to make money, but never had any real authentic desire to make it, until i became homeless...i went to a shelter in Tennessee at first, my family and friends had connections there, i felt like i was still under the umbrella of their control and so i just went through the motions, "getting back on my feet" until i was finally out of there in my apartment. I told myself i could support myself with reselling SE/Refund items and uh well, i got depressed to the point I couldn't function really and just sort of stopped, thinking and moving and just zoned out of life until my bills caught up with me and i got evicted...

I made a decision to be intelligent and instead of going back to my previous shelter i researched the best shelters in america, found one with amazing groups and programs for helping people get off their feet and in a state with low income to rent ratio's so it would be easier on me financially. And i've been here for a while and it's been awesome, my mental health has improved SOOOO SUBSTANTIALLY MUCH, i had no idea i could be so calm and in control...all my needs are taken care of for the most part and now im becoming ready to be financially and emotionally independent. 

But, these past couple of days, where i've finally broken the income barrier...and im starting to reach that number i need to be able to support myself financially through refunding, im starting to become, more self aware of this intense feeling of hatred, from myself and from others around me, i can feel it, clawing at my neck for my attention every second of the day, just...it's always around the corner, waiting for me it seems...i feel like, it's so much worse, when i make money, and i never seemed to be bothered by it when i was poor...and im scared...and it's feels too strong to overcome.

*ALERT* I HAVE IMPOSTERS, CONFIRM ALL DEALS ON C.IO DM'S *ALERT*