would it be a good idea to end it all ?

[2.269]

i've been suffering in silence, for the past two years, 2020 and 2021 that i can officially announce as the worst years of my life, and they are supposed to be the best
 
years of my life before getting a career and taking responsibilities.

What's exactly wrong?

- Depression, Anxiety, Overthinking. These Symptoms Has been building up to the point where it turned into physical & emotional pain at once, at some points i cant 
even breathe. and i feel right to say that currently, for the past three days and most especially today what made me write this post, i'm having the worst depression ever, like i've never had like this before.

It's Funny, Because before these two years i used to laugh at people when they said they're having any kind of emotional pain, because i always suffered from physical pain due to having an abusive dumbass father. not until now that i realized that its way worse than physical pain, in fact u feel the physical pain for a few hours then its gone. but this one just gets stronger and stronger and worse .

what are the recent events / overall reasons that i think are causing this bad mental state:

-Having Family Problems, Living With An Abusive Dad That Every And Each Single Member Of Our Family Hates, We Are Only Living With Him Till Now For One Reason: His House, and his salary, because in case we take action, we have no where to go, and my mom's salary is as little as 170$ a month, and i dont know whats with my bigger brother but he gets a little to no income, and for me, im not making anything?

-Being Mentally Tired, For the past three years highschool was overwhelming for me, and i was always stressed out and scared about the final exams that i took a week ago, before i passed the exams i was planning to finally take some rest, probably go on vacation for a month or two then play games, watch movies & just have fun overall, the fun that i was supposed to have years ago.
What actually happened? due to crypto, i lost my money = no vacation, i'm staying in this shitty home.
Right When i was done with my exams, my family problems got more serious = no mental rest, no rest overall

-Too Much Overthinking
I Listed Earlier that we have family problems, and we have no solution and we have nowhere to go
the stress is all on me now, i'm supposed to get income and support the family, because my father doesn't spend shit on us anymore and sometimes we starve. he doesnt care? because he takes breakfast outside in coffee shops every single morning , while we barely have breakfast ( the most important meal of the day)
when theres no food at home, he eats outside then comes home to yell at my mom for not preparing dinner out of thin air
It's basically all on me? im the one whos supposed to get income and support my family? and get rent for them? and sue my father? (lots of money)

-having to break up with the only person i've ever loved, just because of the shit thats happening above. ( this was and is still the hardest thing for me to realise)

away from that shit, i lost inspiration, i lost motivation to do anything (yet im still pushing myself going to gym everyday, even tho i dont even eat sometimes)
i feel like i have nowhere to go, nothing to do i just dont know, the only reason why i haven't suicided yet is because im worried about my family, not about their emotions but they need me overall.

why am i writing this? i dont fucking know what to do with my fucking life

I NEED HELP. this is too much for me to handle on my own

@harmonyboss

im back, dm me for business inquiries

[141]

Its never good to end it all. Theres always a way around to get ur life together.

[676]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAK14VoY7C0

Why Worship Legends When You Know That You Can Join em?  
        

 

 

[1.296]

check SB Now I can help u

[129]

Committing suicide is not the right choice at all no matter what you are going through. Anyone who does such things is just simply selfish and careless. You are still young brother you got a lot to learn even though you may be going through a lot and having an abusive dad is never easy to deal with, You just have to push yourself and keep grinding and things will eventually work out. If things are not going right as of now then try something else instead of doing the same thing everyday, Your dad is a piece of shit person and you shouldn't care about him because all he does is hurt you and do bad things to you. As a dad no one wants to see their son suffer like that but he just simply doesn't care because he is selfish and is cold hearted. Eventually you will land yourself on a good job and find more opportunities in life and you will move out with your mother and leave your shitty dad behind because he doesn't deserve you.

[2.269]

<3 <3 <3 <3

@harmonyboss

im back, dm me for business inquiries

[1.201]

its never a good idea to end it all..... 

i love you and many more do
everyone in this entire world has at least 1 person that cares about them. weather you know them or not they still care

I am begging you to never do such a thing man please just calm down and go to a therapist like i did
its always good to get those things off your chest and well maybe it can help you

Please consider seeing someone who can truly help not some how to get rid of depression 2021 tutorial .... maybe it can help but it never did in my situation
and watch something fun i guess like internet historian / incognito man who i find to be the 1# solution for sadness 

stay cool and dont be a fool 

love from laxy

[3]

i've been suffering in silence, for the past two years, 2020 and 2021 that i can officially announce as the worst years of my life, and they are supposed to be the best
 
years of my life before getting a career and taking responsibilities.

What's exactly wrong?

- Depression, Anxiety, Overthinking. These Symptoms Has been building up to the point where it turned into physical & emotional pain at once, at some points i cant 
even breathe. and i feel right to say that currently, for the past three days and most especially today what made me write this post, i'm having the worst depression ever, like i've never had like this before.

It's Funny, Because before these two years i used to laugh at people when they said they're having any kind of emotional pain, because i always suffered from physical pain due to having an abusive dumbass father. not until now that i realized that its way worse than physical pain, in fact u feel the physical pain for a few hours then its gone. but this one just gets stronger and stronger and worse .

what are the recent events / overall reasons that i think are causing this bad mental state:

-Having Family Problems, Living With An Abusive Dad That Every And Each Single Member Of Our Family Hates, We Are Only Living With Him Till Now For One Reason: His House, and his salary, because in case we take action, we have no where to go, and my mom's salary is as little as 170$ a month, and i dont know whats with my bigger brother but he gets a little to no income, and for me, im not making anything?

-Being Mentally Tired, For the past three years highschool was overwhelming for me, and i was always stressed out and scared about the final exams that i took a week ago, before i passed the exams i was planning to finally take some rest, probably go on vacation for a month or two then play games, watch movies & just have fun overall, the fun that i was supposed to have years ago.
What actually happened? due to crypto, i lost my money = no vacation, i'm staying in this shitty home.
Right When i was done with my exams, my family problems got more serious = no mental rest, no rest overall

-Too Much Overthinking
I Listed Earlier that we have family problems, and we have no solution and we have nowhere to go
the stress is all on me now, i'm supposed to get income and support the family, because my father doesn't spend shit on us anymore and sometimes we starve. he doesnt care? because he takes breakfast outside in coffee shops every single morning , while we barely have breakfast ( the most important meal of the day)
when theres no food at home, he eats outside then comes home to yell at my mom for not preparing dinner out of thin air
It's basically all on me? im the one whos supposed to get income and support my family? and get rent for them? and sue my father? (lots of money)

-having to break up with the only person i've ever loved, just because of the shit thats happening above. ( this was and is still the hardest thing for me to realise)

away from that shit, i lost inspiration, i lost motivation to do anything (yet im still pushing myself going to gym everyday, even tho i dont even eat sometimes)
i feel like i have nowhere to go, nothing to do i just dont know, the only reason why i haven't suicided yet is because im worried about my family, not about their emotions but they need me overall.

why am i writing this? i dont fucking know what to do with my fucking life

I NEED HELP. this is too much for me to handle on my own

Don't take your own life.  I know you've already heard it, but things can change in your favor at any time.  I realize for some people life can be overwhelming and throw many curveballs your way.  The one piece of advice I would give you now is that you cannot control the actions of others, so you must only worry about the things that you can control.  If you have a shitty family, keep your head down and leave them as soon as possible.  If they're abusive, seek help outside of your family so that you can escape and live your life.  It takes time, but to find happiness you must first find yourself.  Once you learn who you are, you will set yourself free.  Good luck, I can tell from the number of comments that you're never alone, look at all these people offering support!  
I have a lot of advice, and if you want more I'll be happy to share more.