OP 14 April, 2020 - 11:50 AM
Are you currently out on bail and want to fuck off, avoid your trial or sentencing hearing and start fresh? Have you recently escaped prison and don’t know what to do next? Great!
Are you a wanted animal sadist, computer hacker, fraudster, serial handicapped-parking-space parker, or serial child rapist? Great!
Is your reputation ruined, or were you refused entry to your country’s military force? Even better!
Your current identity may be ruined due to past mistakes, bad habits, and/or bad behaviours. Therefore, you may think your life is ruined. However, you can always get a new identity and start fresh. 200 years ago, nobody even carried ID or cared about having a birth certificate or social insurance/security number (SIN/SSN). However, times have changed, and functioning profoundly in the modern human civilization is not possible without pieces of physical and computerized identification.
Fifty years ago, you could forge identity documents, steal a currently deceased person’s identity via tombstones or public records, among other possibilities. However, we are not living in fifty-years-ago times. We are living in a human age where computers dominate us. Governments have become smarter and more organized when it comes to identifying their citizens, and everyone is in a computerized database. Thus, stealing the identity of an unknown deceased person, or forging identity documents, is no longer possible. Forged identity documents will not pass under close scrutiny, and will not scan or register in the computerized government databases, but they will get you into a night club or bar. With all of this, how can you possibly change your identity in this dystopian modern world?
You cannot create an identity out of thin air, but you can replace another physical body and “slide into” their identity. You have to remember that identification only consists of plastic and paper and bits and bytes, and a physical human organism cannot be somehow biologically linked to their identification papers. Now, what exactly am I talking about?
You cannot just slip in to anyone’s identity. You will need to find a person who is relatively off the grid, has no family ties or not many social ties, has no criminal record and a clean criminal history, and has similar characteristics to you (such as height, weight, hair colour, etc.). Many homeless people fit this criteria very well. The first step in getting a new identity is browsing the streets for the perfect homeless man (or woman). This is the hardest part and can take a lot of time, but getting a new identity is no easy chore. It is worth the time and effort, however.
Step #1: Find a homeless person that relatively meets these three criterions:
- No criminal history; no criminal record.
- Not many social connections or social ties, and not much close family left (or none at all).
- Has a similar physical body structure comparable to yours (obviously you may never find your homeless doppelgänger, but try to find a homeless person that resembles you as much as possible in any form).
The first two criterions can be very easy to mark off of your checklist as many homeless people (especially hobos) share those characteristics, but the last criterion can be very challenging to succeed at. You do not want an identity with a criminal record for obvious reasons, and you do not want social ties because these social ties may one day find the identity thief (you) of the homeless man they once knew. You want to find the best, cleanest identity possible, and this will require conversing with the homeless man and becoming his friend for some time so you can gather as much intelligence on his life as possible. Through conversation, you can figure out his name, date of birth, height/weight, criminal history, family, friends, associates, if he ever had any tickets or fines, which communities he had visited, what his life was like, how he became homeless, if he has any physical identification cards or government service cards/papers with him, etc. (think like a CIA agent). Becoming his friend should not pose a big challenge, as many homeless people are extremely bored and lonely and may want to engage in conversation. If your homeless friend does not seem like a good fit, find more homeless people to befriend and converse with. You will need to learn a giant magnitude of information about your homeless friend(s) and maybe write it down in a notebook. As much information as you can possibly get. A homeless man with no photo ID is a very good target, as you may not have to resemble him at all if his picture is not in the government computer system.
Step #2: Try to lead him into a forest or into the wilderness somehow (by deceptive conversational means or somehow by physical means), and then murder him.
Your homeless target has to die, so you can replace him as himself and not have another living copy of the same identity, which can come back to haunt you in life later. Burn his clothing, and dispose of him however you feel is the best way to do it, given your circumstances. Chop off his head, hands, and feet, and dispose of those very well, burn his body, bury his body in lye, etc.
If he has any identification documents on him, take his identity documents. You should now know practically everything that needs to be known about your homeless target, that you have reincarnated as him, to say in a figurative sense. You now have the identity of your homeless target. You can try going to government offices (however it works in your country), and ask about how you can get a copy of your birth certificate and an ID card (act like you, yourself, are homeless, act ignorant, be unknowledgeable about the government’s system, and tell them everything about your life and your name and all that when they ask you). There may also be free ID clinics specifically made for the homeless in your area. This ID card or birth certificate translates into a social insurance/security number, which translates into a job under your new identity, which translates into a driver’s licence, translates into getting a high-school equivalency for your new identity (unless the homeless man already had one, which is very unlikely), then an apartment, then a passport, and it goes on. You just need good social skills, be a good actor, and have perseverance.
If you are running from the law, then you still need to get out of the country eventually. If you are not a highly wanted fugitive, you can stick around in your home country for some time, but not for too long. Once you are settled in with your new identity, instantly focus on getting a green card or permanent residence for another country. Qatar, China, etc. whatever you research, obviously. Since you have established a new identity for yourself from your generous homeless companion, the police should not know who you actually are under your new identity if you are careful, and you could flee the country with practically no footprint. Then, once a new resident in another country, you could possibly travel back to your home country in some years to vacation as you will likely be forgotten about or not very important anymore.
Doing all of this is much easier said than done, but is still very possible in the real world. Find a suitable homeless man, befriend him, learn about him as much as possible, then murder him and become him. It takes an unimaginable amount of effort and stress to pull all of this off, but if you are in a situation where you are desperate to turn your life around, then this is your final hope. Either that, or getting caught by the police. Or, committing suicide, of course.
I am personally actually in the midst of doing this, and am not talking out of my arse. I am talking from my real-world experience. I have already found my suitable homeless man, and will be stealing his identity once I jump bail next year. I have tons of time to talk with him and learn about his life.
I definitely didn't steal this.....r/copypasta
Are you a wanted animal sadist, computer hacker, fraudster, serial handicapped-parking-space parker, or serial child rapist? Great!
Is your reputation ruined, or were you refused entry to your country’s military force? Even better!
Your current identity may be ruined due to past mistakes, bad habits, and/or bad behaviours. Therefore, you may think your life is ruined. However, you can always get a new identity and start fresh. 200 years ago, nobody even carried ID or cared about having a birth certificate or social insurance/security number (SIN/SSN). However, times have changed, and functioning profoundly in the modern human civilization is not possible without pieces of physical and computerized identification.
Fifty years ago, you could forge identity documents, steal a currently deceased person’s identity via tombstones or public records, among other possibilities. However, we are not living in fifty-years-ago times. We are living in a human age where computers dominate us. Governments have become smarter and more organized when it comes to identifying their citizens, and everyone is in a computerized database. Thus, stealing the identity of an unknown deceased person, or forging identity documents, is no longer possible. Forged identity documents will not pass under close scrutiny, and will not scan or register in the computerized government databases, but they will get you into a night club or bar. With all of this, how can you possibly change your identity in this dystopian modern world?
You cannot create an identity out of thin air, but you can replace another physical body and “slide into” their identity. You have to remember that identification only consists of plastic and paper and bits and bytes, and a physical human organism cannot be somehow biologically linked to their identification papers. Now, what exactly am I talking about?
You cannot just slip in to anyone’s identity. You will need to find a person who is relatively off the grid, has no family ties or not many social ties, has no criminal record and a clean criminal history, and has similar characteristics to you (such as height, weight, hair colour, etc.). Many homeless people fit this criteria very well. The first step in getting a new identity is browsing the streets for the perfect homeless man (or woman). This is the hardest part and can take a lot of time, but getting a new identity is no easy chore. It is worth the time and effort, however.
Step #1: Find a homeless person that relatively meets these three criterions:
- No criminal history; no criminal record.
- Not many social connections or social ties, and not much close family left (or none at all).
- Has a similar physical body structure comparable to yours (obviously you may never find your homeless doppelgänger, but try to find a homeless person that resembles you as much as possible in any form).
The first two criterions can be very easy to mark off of your checklist as many homeless people (especially hobos) share those characteristics, but the last criterion can be very challenging to succeed at. You do not want an identity with a criminal record for obvious reasons, and you do not want social ties because these social ties may one day find the identity thief (you) of the homeless man they once knew. You want to find the best, cleanest identity possible, and this will require conversing with the homeless man and becoming his friend for some time so you can gather as much intelligence on his life as possible. Through conversation, you can figure out his name, date of birth, height/weight, criminal history, family, friends, associates, if he ever had any tickets or fines, which communities he had visited, what his life was like, how he became homeless, if he has any physical identification cards or government service cards/papers with him, etc. (think like a CIA agent). Becoming his friend should not pose a big challenge, as many homeless people are extremely bored and lonely and may want to engage in conversation. If your homeless friend does not seem like a good fit, find more homeless people to befriend and converse with. You will need to learn a giant magnitude of information about your homeless friend(s) and maybe write it down in a notebook. As much information as you can possibly get. A homeless man with no photo ID is a very good target, as you may not have to resemble him at all if his picture is not in the government computer system.
Step #2: Try to lead him into a forest or into the wilderness somehow (by deceptive conversational means or somehow by physical means), and then murder him.
Your homeless target has to die, so you can replace him as himself and not have another living copy of the same identity, which can come back to haunt you in life later. Burn his clothing, and dispose of him however you feel is the best way to do it, given your circumstances. Chop off his head, hands, and feet, and dispose of those very well, burn his body, bury his body in lye, etc.
If he has any identification documents on him, take his identity documents. You should now know practically everything that needs to be known about your homeless target, that you have reincarnated as him, to say in a figurative sense. You now have the identity of your homeless target. You can try going to government offices (however it works in your country), and ask about how you can get a copy of your birth certificate and an ID card (act like you, yourself, are homeless, act ignorant, be unknowledgeable about the government’s system, and tell them everything about your life and your name and all that when they ask you). There may also be free ID clinics specifically made for the homeless in your area. This ID card or birth certificate translates into a social insurance/security number, which translates into a job under your new identity, which translates into a driver’s licence, translates into getting a high-school equivalency for your new identity (unless the homeless man already had one, which is very unlikely), then an apartment, then a passport, and it goes on. You just need good social skills, be a good actor, and have perseverance.
If you are running from the law, then you still need to get out of the country eventually. If you are not a highly wanted fugitive, you can stick around in your home country for some time, but not for too long. Once you are settled in with your new identity, instantly focus on getting a green card or permanent residence for another country. Qatar, China, etc. whatever you research, obviously. Since you have established a new identity for yourself from your generous homeless companion, the police should not know who you actually are under your new identity if you are careful, and you could flee the country with practically no footprint. Then, once a new resident in another country, you could possibly travel back to your home country in some years to vacation as you will likely be forgotten about or not very important anymore.
Doing all of this is much easier said than done, but is still very possible in the real world. Find a suitable homeless man, befriend him, learn about him as much as possible, then murder him and become him. It takes an unimaginable amount of effort and stress to pull all of this off, but if you are in a situation where you are desperate to turn your life around, then this is your final hope. Either that, or getting caught by the police. Or, committing suicide, of course.
I am personally actually in the midst of doing this, and am not talking out of my arse. I am talking from my real-world experience. I have already found my suitable homeless man, and will be stealing his identity once I jump bail next year. I have tons of time to talk with him and learn about his life.
I definitely didn't steal this.....r/copypasta
![[Image: FtiXiFX.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/FtiXiFX.gif)
