$1000 GIVEAWAY - ENDING IN ~24 HOURS

[2.090]

Yeet yeeet

[4.020]

Hey guys, did u knyow that in tewms of mawe human an femawe Pokémwown bweeding, Vapwoweown iws tw mwost compatibwe Pokémwown fow humans? Not ownwy awe twy in tw fiewd egg gwoub, which iws mwostwy compwiwsed of mammaws, Vapwoweown awe an abwewage of 3”03’ taww an 63.9 pwounds, thiws means twy’we wawge enugh two be abwe hanwe human dicks, an with twiw impwessibwe Base Stats fow HP an access two Acid Awmwow, u can be wough with ownnye. Due two twiw mwostwy watew based biowogy, twwe’s nyo doubt in my mind that an awoused Vapwoweown wouwd be incwedibwy wet, so wet that u couwd easiwy habwe sex with ownnye fow houws without getting sowe. They can awso weawn tw muvs Attwact, Baby-Doww Enyes, Captivate, Chawm, an Taiw Whip, awowng with nyot habing fwuw two hide nyippwes, so it’d be incwedibwy easy fow ownnye two get u in tw mwowod. With twiw abiwities Watew Absowb an Hydwatiown, twy can easiwy wecuvw fwom fatigue with enugh watew. No otww Pokémwown comes cwose two thiws webwew of compatibiwity. Awso, fwun fact, if u puww out enugh, u can make uw Vapwoweown tuwn white. Vapwoweown iws witewawwy bwuiwt fow human dick. Ungodwy defense stat+high HP pwowow+Acid Awmwow means it can take cock aww day, aww shapes an sizes an stiww comii fow mwowe uwu

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So one of my friends has been single for a month and he's been feeling depressed cos of it, he's always complaining about not getting his dick sucked so I unzipped his pants and ended the complaining right then and there, I didn't take any pleasure from it, apart from cheering my friend up of course, but I can't help feeling what I did was gay

[2.520]

@J_S make me win frend

ALWAYS CONFIRM ON SITE

 

[4.020]

I want to be the sex slave of an upper class white man in his twenties/early thirties with anger management issues that forces me to wear a maid outfit (or any girly clothes in general) and tells me that i am his, and only his cute little slut while he ravages my butt with his cock and makes me eat my own cum afterwards

[2.090]

Geez

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Yessssss

[1.923]

@Business 

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[2.090]

420

[4.020]

Bro like why the FUCK Kirby looks goddamn fuckable. Think about it, according to wikipedia kirbo is 8 inches tall. That makes him the perfect height to just pick up and fucking slam your dick down its stupid fucking face. And dont even get me STARTED on that mouth. Like holy fucking shit IMAGINE the head that you would recieve, I dont fucking care if it would kill me. kirb head would deliver me to the afterlife. And the greatest fucking part, kirbs has no teeth and is stretchy and squishable. He has the fucking anatomy of a fleshlight. You cant fucking say this isnt intended. God fucking dammit nintendo why the fuck was kirbi not the star of bayonetta, I want to see that fucking stupid sexy pink bitch get down and dirty on my dick. God I want to fucking bust inside that kirbussy. I dont even know if kerb has a fucking pussy, dick, or whatever. He has a mouth that has been proven to give the greatest succ in all of nintendo lore. Why are people not wildin out about this? why the fuck is everyone furiously beating off to pokemon and underaged girls when theres nothing wrong with using a fleshlight that says poyo. I am rock fucking solid just imaginging that steamy hot blob drenched in my splooge, absolutely dick drunk from going 8 hours doing nothing but sapping me dry of every drop of man milk. korb doesnt even have to breathe probably, you could just tie him up and use him how ever hard or how ever long you want. We KNOW hes the strongest character in all of smash bros, ITS IN THE FUCKING LORE. fucking slut would give you a mad sloppy and be ready for more. fuck I cant take it anymore

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I jerk off to Overwatch characters based on their play style. I think this is what Blizzard envisioned.
I never actually managed to play the game though, because just the Overwatch logo is enough for me and my dick to go Bastion-mode (this is all I know about the Gorilla character).
Mercy is my favorite because she's angelic and white. Fuck, I wish Overwatch was real. Pornographic Pixar breeding every day. If Mercy was real, she can heal my dick skin, at least what's left of it.
Mercy can gift me healing abilities too. I could go to a graveyard and resurrect all the hot babes from a non-political era. I'll tell them if they don't have sex with me I will make them dead again.

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my child saw the word “bussy” on a video
last night he shoved his butt in the air and said “look at my bussy” and I asked where he heard that word and he said a YouTube video with Spider-Man pushing his bum around and saying it was his bussy.
I could not find the video but my child is NINE why is this world so cold ? I mean I laughed out of shock tho. I’m watching his videos now and they’re not like that help me.

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I'm telling you, the real reason Walter broke bad was because he received the world's shittiest handjob which made him reconsider his entire existence. Your wife yanking around your 50 year old half chub with 10% of her attention while simultaneously borderline orgasming at selling a girthy 8,5 inch vase on eBay for 56 dollars is an experience that people in the darkest bdsm dungeons would be shivering at. I swear to god Walter Jr. is probably having a wilder sex life on the other side of the wall with his sock than these two have had in the past five years.
So when he received his cancer diagnosis the prolonged silence was not due to shock but because of pure bliss and relief because he knew that in a few years he'll likely be dead and won't have to live like that.
That's why when he received the news of remission he was so goddamn angry. And I don't know why people see the Salamanca twins as villains, they were clearly just tryna help a homie out and spare him from this existence. Oh, but why did they go after Hank then, you might ask? Well, then you clearly don't remember Hank's handjob scene from season 4, they were trying to save him from that. Really they were the true heroes of this show trying to save people from fucking miserable, dick shriveling handjobs.
And then, of course, shit starts happening, Skyler fucks Ted and Walt goes off the chain prolly thinking stuff like "bet she didn't give just a shitty handjob to Ted, oh no! My god, I wouldn't even be surprised if she agreed to do anal with him! While I've been pleading for years!". That right there's a thought progression enough to start a man crashing plants in random office buildings. And the way it can mess with your sexual thinking, Lord only knows what kind of cataclysmic insanities Walt was busting nuts to while living alone.
But then Walt has a romantic dinner with Gus, realises there's at least someone who'd probably agree to have anal with him, meanwhile Ted gets paralyzed, no more anal for him, Walt calls up Skyler "I won".
Now Walt can be smug for the entirety of season 5, he's back on top of the sex chain. So Breaking Bad is really about Walt's sexual transformation from a submissive forced-into-humiliation-kink middle aged man to a borderline sex offender to an off the rails cuck to a pure alpha male who's ascended past sex and at the end of season 5 we can see him die with bliss on his face because he's redeemed himself.

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I posted on here a couple days ago but I am still freaked out. I am able to suck my own cock and my mother was staying at my place as she has no power right now. I thought she was shopping so I decided to suck my cock. However, when I was finished I looked up at the door way and she was standing there and said oh wow and then walked away. She went into my guest room right after.