OP 04 March, 2024 - 08:31 PM
I [21F] am having an overwhelming, overly obsessive crush on my university programming teacher [38M]. Ever since the start of the year (when I first met him) I couldn't stop thinking about him. He is kind, attentive and has this pleasant type of nerdiness in him.
I'm an artist, and I didn't noticed how I filled ≈100+ A4 pages with drawings of him. This looks unhealthy. Worse than that, I ended up collecting personal info on him, even though I never wanted to cross his boundaries.
The fact that his opinion matters to me so much makes me worry 10x times more when I can't solve a problem well or when I don't pass a project in time. I want to make him proud, but I'm as dumb as a log.
Maybe it's not even romantic - I just see him as a parent figure, something that I was searching in others since early childhood. A single hug from him or a pat on the shoulder could heal me.
Sorry for posting such vents in here, I just feel like the community here will understand it better than anywhere else. Anyway, what do I do?
I'm an artist, and I didn't noticed how I filled ≈100+ A4 pages with drawings of him. This looks unhealthy. Worse than that, I ended up collecting personal info on him, even though I never wanted to cross his boundaries.
The fact that his opinion matters to me so much makes me worry 10x times more when I can't solve a problem well or when I don't pass a project in time. I want to make him proud, but I'm as dumb as a log.
Maybe it's not even romantic - I just see him as a parent figure, something that I was searching in others since early childhood. A single hug from him or a pat on the shoulder could heal me.
Sorry for posting such vents in here, I just feel like the community here will understand it better than anywhere else. Anyway, what do I do?