Update - Won't be leaving for a few more days. I'm leaving 13/07
I'm in way too deep guys, and way too fast.
I joined Cracked.to on 19 March, 2020 and since then,
it's been taking up a lot of my time, and causing me
unnecessary amounts of pain. But first, some background
about me.
I don't know why I'm posting this. I know no one
will read it, let alone care. This will get buried
with 7 views, even though this is the thing I've
put the most effort into making, excluding
SelfReaper of course
Background
I joined cracked to keep my mind off the things that
hurt me. I was always a child with 'problems' that
were only recently taken seriously.
Around two years ago, I was diagnosed with generalized
anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and a few
other anxiety-based disorders.
Not long after, I was diagnosed with major depressive
disorder (depression) after years of self-harm and
other things.
Recently, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder.
Fuck, I'm young by every definition. Not old enough
to drive, to fuck, to get alcohol, to legally visit
pornhub, or to do any of the other fun parts of adulthood.
I don't know how these diagnoses will affect me in the
future, and honestly? I'm terrified.
It's already started to affect my grades, and my physical
health. I feel like there's no way for it to get better,
and that I'll fall short of everyone's expectations in life,
and die poor and alone.
Joining Cracked
I've always been interested in things like programming,
having the ideas of things I could create to help people
or earn money, and actually having the ability to make them.
None of it was serious, and I've only learned money from
creating a Minecraft server around when this pandemic started,
which fell apart like everything else in my life.
But then I found Cracked.
I registered a few months ago, and was confused by some
of the scarier sounding things like cracking, e-whoring and
social engineering.
Then I realised there was a rank that let me bypass those
limits, and using some of the money from the Minecraft,
I bought it from an exchanger. A week or two after
getting premium, I was able to get contributor, and not
worry about what would happen when I lost premium.
The Minecraft server died like everything else, and
I chose to invest the rest of its money into Infinity,
which gave me much more of an ability to earn money back.
Now look at me! Triple upgrades on a cracking forum with
hundreds in profits from a few hours of work.
What about now?
I joined Cracked in a dark place in my life. Everyone
had forgotten I existed, and I felt like the only way
to get it back was to get my friends back and feel
validated for all my failed ventures would be to climb
a ladder but now I realise what it has caused.
Until now, I never thought about what I have gotten
myself into. I never thought what I've had to do for
that. I've constantly struggled to keep my personal
and hacking pseudos seperate. I feel like they're close
to crossing, so I feel like I might to temporarily
pull the plug.
Life has started going to that dark place again, but
this time Cracked is part of the reason. I'm not blaming
floraiN's amazing site for everything, but it was
an amazing distraction from reality. And that's what
I thought I wanted - to get away from real life and
watch my reputation, vouches and likes slowly rise.
I've started to realise my obsession with escaping
reality was not healthy, and can't reasonably be
until I'm able to get everything else sorted so
I'll not be making any more products, threads or
similar for at least until school's back and I can
ensure that I can ensure that I won't disappoint
people in real life and maybe even find love but
I highly fucking doubt that with my ugly, mentally
unstable ass self.
What about X-thing you posted?
I'll still be dealing with sales and updates of
my SelfReaper program, and that's about all I will
do. I don't trust myself enough to not fall into
this trap once again, which at this point will
likely result in suicide. Depressing as that is,
it's true.
Goodbye, guys. I might see you in a few weeks / a month or two. I might not. You might never see me again
I'm in way too deep guys, and way too fast.
I joined Cracked.to on 19 March, 2020 and since then,
it's been taking up a lot of my time, and causing me
unnecessary amounts of pain. But first, some background
about me.
I don't know why I'm posting this. I know no one
will read it, let alone care. This will get buried
with 7 views, even though this is the thing I've
put the most effort into making, excluding
SelfReaper of course
Background
I joined cracked to keep my mind off the things that
hurt me. I was always a child with 'problems' that
were only recently taken seriously.
Around two years ago, I was diagnosed with generalized
anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and a few
other anxiety-based disorders.
Not long after, I was diagnosed with major depressive
disorder (depression) after years of self-harm and
other things.
Recently, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder.
Fuck, I'm young by every definition. Not old enough
to drive, to fuck, to get alcohol, to legally visit
pornhub, or to do any of the other fun parts of adulthood.
I don't know how these diagnoses will affect me in the
future, and honestly? I'm terrified.
It's already started to affect my grades, and my physical
health. I feel like there's no way for it to get better,
and that I'll fall short of everyone's expectations in life,
and die poor and alone.
Joining Cracked
I've always been interested in things like programming,
having the ideas of things I could create to help people
or earn money, and actually having the ability to make them.
None of it was serious, and I've only learned money from
creating a Minecraft server around when this pandemic started,
which fell apart like everything else in my life.
But then I found Cracked.
I registered a few months ago, and was confused by some
of the scarier sounding things like cracking, e-whoring and
social engineering.
Then I realised there was a rank that let me bypass those
limits, and using some of the money from the Minecraft,
I bought it from an exchanger. A week or two after
getting premium, I was able to get contributor, and not
worry about what would happen when I lost premium.
The Minecraft server died like everything else, and
I chose to invest the rest of its money into Infinity,
which gave me much more of an ability to earn money back.
Now look at me! Triple upgrades on a cracking forum with
hundreds in profits from a few hours of work.
What about now?
I joined Cracked in a dark place in my life. Everyone
had forgotten I existed, and I felt like the only way
to get it back was to get my friends back and feel
validated for all my failed ventures would be to climb
a ladder but now I realise what it has caused.
Until now, I never thought about what I have gotten
myself into. I never thought what I've had to do for
that. I've constantly struggled to keep my personal
and hacking pseudos seperate. I feel like they're close
to crossing, so I feel like I might to temporarily
pull the plug.
Life has started going to that dark place again, but
this time Cracked is part of the reason. I'm not blaming
floraiN's amazing site for everything, but it was
an amazing distraction from reality. And that's what
I thought I wanted - to get away from real life and
watch my reputation, vouches and likes slowly rise.
I've started to realise my obsession with escaping
reality was not healthy, and can't reasonably be
until I'm able to get everything else sorted so
I'll not be making any more products, threads or
similar for at least until school's back and I can
ensure that I can ensure that I won't disappoint
people in real life and maybe even find love but
I highly fucking doubt that with my ugly, mentally
unstable ass self.
What about X-thing you posted?
I'll still be dealing with sales and updates of
my SelfReaper program, and that's about all I will
do. I don't trust myself enough to not fall into
this trap once again, which at this point will
likely result in suicide. Depressing as that is,
it's true.
Goodbye, guys. I might see you in a few weeks / a month or two. I might not. You might never see me again
joe biden can gargle it
you deserve the best, don't take the easy way out, life is meant for you to have the opportunity to live. You can miss a lot of good things in the future if you're not alive to feel it or see it.![[Image: jpx1TEv.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/jpx1TEv.gif)
![[Image: Signature-Self-Made.gif]](https://i.ibb.co/b5318m1/Signature-Self-Made.gif)